I took Luke to see a new pediatrician this morning about all of his allergies. So excited because I really liked him. I loved our Dallas pedi and the first one we visited here was not too impressive. This doctor could relate to our situation because he has 4 small children, 2 of which are twins. So I don't think he sees us as a total freak show, like most. The conversation ended with questions about Ian's sleep. From what I've heard, this pediatrician is very laid back, but his suggestion with him seemed pretty harsh. He told me to put him to bed, shut the door and not to open until morning. I could even give him a small dose of Benadryl for the next couple of nights. I am sure that Ian isn't hungry at night, but is getting unswaddled and then is unable to go back to sleep. The boy is just too big and strong to be swaddled anymore. I've tried miracle blankets, one blankets, two blankets, etc. I've almost gotten out the duct tape.
Last night he started crying about 3 hrs after he was put to bed. I had been asleep for an hour. I was flat out mad! I am so darn exhausted that I've been brought to tears the past two days and I really don't shed many tears. Husband ended up sleeping in the guest room sharing a bed with him and he slept the rest of the night, unswaddled. I didn't end up feeding him until 6:30 this morning, 10 hrs later. The problem is, we've let him cry before and it will go on and on for the better part of 7 hours. Ian is the most stubborn baby on the planet!
So do we really just shut the door and not open it for many, many hours? I really don't have the energy to go in his room over and over so I'm thinking I don't have much of a choice. Do I cut out the swaddling all together? Wrapping half of his body doesn't really help. He also sleeps with a noise maker, I am feeding him every 3 hours during the day, I make sure he isn't overly tired or taking too long of naps, and we've started rice cereal. Just to answer some of the questions rolling through your mind. I really feel like I've tried it all. So how long should I expect him to sleep at 5 1/2 months? Has anyone done this extreme method of crying it out? How many nights will it take? I never had these problems with the twins, which I am very grateful for. Please help this tired and grumpy mom(and dad)!! I need to know other moms did this and it worked.
the twins
little brother
About Me
- Leslie
- I have been happily married to my wonderful husband, Brian, of 6 years. Our world was immensely changed on March 17, 2007 when we were blessed with beautiful twin boys. It was changed even more this September with the birth of another baby boy. Taking care of 3 boys under the age of 2 is no easy task. Welcome to our world. It is full of joy and endurance!
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17 comments:
Hi! I've been keeping up with your blog for quite awhile through Amanda Ramsey's blog. I will tell you that crying it out for a super long time is exactly what we did with our daughter, Hayden. She's now almost 19 months old, and she wasn't scarred! I was for a little while b/c it seemed so harsh, but I honestly had no other choice either. Hayden had really bad colic and reflux when she was little so she cried nonstop. Once we got the crying somewhat under control during the day I just went for it at night!!! I think she was around 4 or 5 months old when we did it, and it took quite a few nights in a row of letting her cry it out. Sometimes she would cry for up to 3 full hours, but she stopped. I did the same things you did: I knew she wasn't overly tired, hungry, sick, etc......She just needed to learn that she could put herself back to sleep. Feel free to email me if you have any questions!!! lindsaywagner03@yahoo.com Good luck and let us know how it goes. Just know that the first few times will seem like an eternity and will make you feel horrible...at least it did me. But after a few nights it will all be done and he'll hopefully be sleeping peacefully through the night. And also know you won't get much sleep while you're doing this due to a screaming child, but it's all worth it for both of you in the end. Hope this info. helps a little!!!
I'm sorry you've had such a hard time with sleep Leslie. No fun! I can't give you any advice, but I'll be praying for you!
I had a 2 yr old son when my twins were born. They were horrible sleepers. I tried it ALL! My advise do whatever gets you the most sleep. Crying it out didn't work for me. I tried it with 3 kids, I did Ferber, Weisbluth, all of them. Each of my kids were different and required different things. I was desperate for sleep and just did anything. I had to function the next day. My daughter nursed at night till she was 12 months. When I weaned her she slept thru the night. My older son was the same. My younger son slept with me till 9 months!! I just couldn't handle it and he was brutal! My husband slept in the guest room. I am not one of the baby sleeper people as a matter of fact, my kids don't sleep with me at all now. I learned over time you can break any bad habit you create. I just slowly moved him into a crib in my room then moved the crib back into his room. All 3 are very good sleepers now and doing what I had to do to survive didn't cause any major life long sleep issues! :)
Also, at 9 mos I discovered my younger son loved a new pacifier. I had always tried those soothies, but my kids didn't like them. I gave him a NUK and my life changed!! Good luck, it does get better and I have been there with 3 little ones, the triple stroller and the "freak" show.
We cried it out. I was very reluctant and it was hard for me but I was going crazy with no sleep and I felt like a walking zombie. It was tough and they did cry quite a bit but after 2 nights of falling asleep on their own they started sleeping thru the night! I think all night seems kind of harsh too but only you know your limit and what you can handle. I think after 45 minutes I would at least go in and check and make sure he was ok, then leave again. You're of course touching on a touchy subject bc some people feel strongly about crying it out and some feel strongly about not doing it...find what works best for you and go with it. I am surprised he mentioned benadryl, he seems awfully young for it...(however he is the Dr. so he knows what is safe) but it can have the opposite effect so I would do that last resort...try without it for a few nights at least. I think you do have a stubborn baby on your hands!
Wellll ... we did CIO with Blake at 4 months ... we did it all cold turkey. Put him in HIS bed, UNSWADDLED, and let him CRY. I was in the same position as you - I was utterly exhausted and he was not hungry at night, just couldn't put himself back to sleep. Anyway, I slept in the guest room (next to his nursery) for 1 week ... and every night it got better ... he would cry less and less. And at the end of the week, it was done. He has been an excellent sleeper since! I did do a "dream feed" everynight at like 10, just to fill him up. So we would put him in bed at 7ish, dream feed at 10, then he would wake up in the morning at 8ish. Good luck, friend ... it is tough, but it is SO WORTH IT! :)
ps - Only did the "dream feed" for a couple of months ...
Hi Leslie! Thanks for the comments on my blog! :)
I did "cry it out" with both my kids and my thought is that as long as you know they don't need anything (food, diaper change, don't have a fever, etc) and all they need to do is SLEEP, then I say cry it out. So, if he isn't sick and he doesn't need to eat at night, then I would say for sleep training purposes it would be fine to put him in bed and not go in again until morning. Later on, once he is consistently sleeping through the night (hallelujah!), you can go in to check on him if you think he might need something, but you will see faster results now if you don't go in. Just give him lots of extra snuggles during the day. :)
My daughter is currently protesting sleep in several ways and I initially go in and check on her and then don't go back and she has been known to stay awake/cry for 3 hours. But I know she is just stubborn and all she needs to do is sleep, so I have to be more stubborn than she is and not give in!
I'll be praying for you!
Oh Leslie. I know you (and Brian) must be exhausted. Like Summer, I did a dream feed right before I would go to bed (which was about 10, sometimes earlier or later). Sometimes Wyatt would sleep thru the night with that and sometimes not (but it definitely helped). I honestly can't remember how long he was waking up at night, but I specifically remember at 9 months (it was Christmas). We did eventually let him cry it out and I think it only took about a week. I know all kids are different though. I used the fleece sleep sacks to keep him warm since we had stopped swaddling him after several months. I stopped swaddling Wyatt at naps and once he got used to that I stopped swaddling at night. I really hope you find a system that works for you guys. Good luck and keep us posted!
i think i have already told you this, but i felt exactly the same way you did about 6 months ago! Caroline is the lightest sleeper, she got too big for the stretchy chenille Amy Coe blankets, so then i started tucking the blanket into each side of the crib with half her body under it, then i just threw the blanket out. at 7 months, the dr was like "she really needs to be sleeping through the night, it will take 3 nights", i said "will she lose weight if i don't nurse her?" his answer "no. she is just using you". so i did it, for 3 nights, she woke up multiple times, i would check to make sure an ankle wasn't stuck in the crib but then just lay her back down and let her cry a bit. i remember a time she cried for an hour, i felt like a horrible mom and she gave me a bad look the next morning. we still go through this (especially since she has been sick so much of the winter) but when she does sleep through the night and the sun is up when she awakes, she is so much happier. it will happen, i was in tears too, mad and stomping into her room, but Ian should get the hang of it after a couple of nights crying a bit and then it will be better for all.
Well, I know it goes against what everyone thinks is the "norm" but you should read Dr. Sears "The Baby Book" and his section on co-sleeping. That is what we do and I wouldn't do it any other way- his book explains how Amerians are the only culture that put their babies in another room. Not judging anyone's approach- b/c I say each parent should do what is right for them...but the co-sleeping works for us. Aubrey has slept through the night since she was 9 weeks old. (I think she is just about a week older than Ian) I know it isn't what the majority of people do---and it seems kind of "hippie" but read his book---what he says really makes sense...how it actually fosters insdependence to meet the baby's needs and comfort them during the night while crying it out doesn't. All that said...whatever you can get to work go with it!
Hey Les! I feel your pain and can remember being there. I remember at 4 months, our pedi told us we could start letting Reid cry for 20 minutes, go in, check him/nurse him. I did that and he dropped a feeding but was still waking up once. So, around 5 or 6 months, I think I let him cry longer - either for an hour or hour and a half. It worked for me to do a "gradual" cry it out, but it probably would have been faster had I done it cold turkey, so my advice is do what you're comfortable with! Since then, Reid has been an excellent sleeper. Please let us know what works for y'all! Good luck, I'll keep you and Brian (and the boys!) in my prayers!!
Leslie,
My sweet Charlie had to cry it out...we even had to cry it out for nap time. When we started the night time crying it out, it lasted for a couple hours each night...but each night you do it, the crying becomes less and less. I think we had her broken of the habit after 4 nights...you just have to stick to your guns. Brannen, my husband, would have to remind me not to get up with her because it just seemed so mean to me. I thank him for that!! Stick it out...you can do this!!
Love,
Julie McKinney Scarborough
oh goodness good luck with this! wish i had something constuctive to tell you, but i don't!
on to the frivolous things, like keds: i had to search for them...and found them at dillards and belk department stores. they also sell them (sometimes) at stride rite. it really is hit or miss though, bc just two weeks ago dillards didnt have ANY keds. i dont get it. good luck with EVERYTHING!
oh leslie! looks like you've gotten LOTS of advice on here - - you've got to do what works for you and your family! it's when we loosened up on all the "props" -- swaddles, positioners, etc. that he started doing better. so, maybe ian will do better without the swaddle. i hope so, leslie! keep me up to date!
This sounds like an attachment issue to me, I absolutely would not let him cry it out for any longer than 20 minutes - if at all. He needs the security of knowing he has big people that will respond to him when he cries. I know you are tired, parenthood is exhausting but that's just part of doing a great job for your kids. Think of how helpless he is, if you were caring for an elderly or ill adult that had his needs you would not let them scream through the night. If he will sleep soundly with your husband in the guest bed just let him sleep with the two of you for a while. He will outgrow this and in the meantime you will get rest! Hang in there. Try the book The No Cry Sleep Solution.
I appreciate all of your comments, encouragement and advice! Ian had a rough first 2 nights but has slept great the past 3 nights, taken awesome naps and been the most pleasant baby in the world. I know there will still be sleepless nights ahead but he is on a roll and I feel much, much better!! Crying it out may not work for every baby but so far, it is proving to work for him.
Leslie - I don't know you personally but I have 'stalked' your blog through Summer (I went to college with her). We have a 20 month old and we also had to do cry it out. I could not sleep well with her in our bed and did not want her to get into that habit so we tried it around 6 months. It was super hard the first few times but has been such a blessing! She is a wonderful sleeper now. There are still times where she will go through several nights waking up and we have to do cry it out again (but much less). I truly believe this is a great method that will not harm baby at all! And I am so impressed with you - there is no way I could have three little ones - I am scared about having another one in September! Hang in there, from what I can tell, you are a great Mommy!! :)
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